Chapter Twenty-Nine: I Am

5/31/17


     I am just a girl, who doesn't know when to shut up. I'm a woman who can stand up for herself, who knows what she deserves, who believes in things and sticks to those beliefs. I am creative, because I can look at trash and turn it into a treasure. I'm a teacher, because I have the patience to show you what I know without giving up on you. I'm an artist, because I can see the bigger picture and am able to create something truly beautiful. I'm a writer, because I am more able to put my feelings on paper than to actually speak them out loud. I'm a daughter, of two wonderful people who have taught me how to be who I am. I'm a sister, and I've built an incredible bond with my siblings, who have always supported me and taken care of me. I'm an auntie, to two amazing little children, who I love to watch laugh, grow and dance. I'm a girlfriend, to the best man in the entire world, who is always there to pick me up when I fall, and who will continue to love me even at my worst. And I am a friend, who does her best to do right by everyone, showing continuous love and support even when she doesn't get it back.
     I am a rock, because I will always be there, and never abandon someone who needs me, even when I have nothing left to give. I'm a flower, because I have delicate feelings and I'm easily crushed. I'm scotch tape, because I can hold together the broken pieces of my friends when they are shattered. I am sometimes a bug on a wall, crawling around, not being noticed until someone is ready to crush me. I am a children's book, because I am easily read. I am a laundry basket; I can help you carry your load until you can figure out how to clean it up.
     But I am not a doormat; something you can step all over because it's as low as it can possibly be. I'm not a dog that you can yell at, order around and force to fetch you things. I'm not a car; I can't take you any place you're not willing to put in the work for. I'm not your tissue, that you can put your issues into and then throw away. I am certainly not disposable, I'm not a one time use, I'm not someone who gives you what you want and then leaves.
     I'm the kind of person to show you what it's like to be loved; I'm the one who puts everyone else's needs above her own, who takes what she is given and makes do with what she has. I'm not a lawyer, but I can argue as well as one. I'm not a gossip queen, I won't judge you for your mistakes or your past, but I am a talker. I'll talk your ear off until the cows come home. I'll laugh loud uncontrollably, I might drink a little too much but I'm responsible, and I'll tell you bad jokes that don't make sense. I am a woman who makes promises that she can't always keep. I am a sinner, because I swear like a sailor and don't care who hears it. I sing loudly in the shower, sometimes procrastinate and I laugh at farts. I don't think before I speak, I bite my nails and I don't always drink enough water.
     I am a person, who is painfully human, who tries her best but sometimes is prone to giving up. I am trying to fix that. I try my best but sometimes it's not good enough, and that's okay. At least I know who I am, and never try to be someone I'm not.