Chapter Eighteen: Questions to Deepen the Connection

5/7/17

    
I decided to do this questionnaire post, it's called "Questions to Deepen the Connection." It's questions that you should ask your partner to get to know each other better. I just thought I'd do a fun kind of post, and maybe you guys will use it with your partners as well.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

     Honestly I think at this point in my life I would say Snoop Dogg. I don't think I really need to explain why. Everyone knows it would be awesome, and if you say it wouldn't be, you're lying to yourself.
    
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

     Probably for my art, or something that I created/invented

3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?

     If it's an important phone call, I always either rehearse or write down what I'm going to say, just so I avoid using "um" or "uhhhh" because it's a bad habit of mine. I also tend to stutter if I'm trying to think of what to say. I get nervous on the phone, unless it's someone I'm really close with.

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

     A nice, sunny, warm day that I can go for a walk with friends or someone I love, sit on the grass or sand and watch nature, go to the beach, get ice cream, play at the arcade, just fun stuff that makes me feel happy and connected to nature, relaxed and just to keep myself occupied.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

     I sang to myself in the car while I was driving like always. Last time I sang to someone was probably on the phone with Chris yesterday.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

     I would definitely rather have the mind of a 30 year old when I'm 90. What I'm most afraid of about getting old is losing my mind, not being able to remember things, and not being completely aware of my surroundings. I want to be able to take care of myself, at least mentally.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

     I've never really thought about it, I don't really like to think about when I will die. I would like to die in my sleep, I think, peacefully.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

     Our taste in music, and television/movies, which is something really, super important to me. Our sense of humor, which is probably more important than the music taste, because I'm always laughing and wanting to make other people laugh, and we always just joke around with each other. Also I think our mindset is the same about our personal goals in life, as well as how we want our relationship to progress in the future. That's a big one as well, because obviously you want to be on the same page with your partner.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

    I'm definitely most grateful for the family that I was blessed with and the amazing support system that I have, and the way I was raised. My parents did a wonderful job raising my brothers and I, and I'm incredibly lucky to be brought up the way I was.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

    I don't think I would change much about it, besides the fact that I was raised in New Hampshire, and I hate the winter.

11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

   I was raised in New Hampshire with a mom, a dad, and two brothers. I live in a duplex next to my grandparents, which is awesome because they played a huge role in raising me. I was raised to be a kind person who always tries to do right by others, and I was always given the tools to succeed and strive to do good things by my parents. I've been hurt before, and gone through some rough patches, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without my family by my side, so my family is a very important part of my life. I was just a normal kid and a normal teenager. All I want out of life is to be happy, and live life to the fullest and keep laughing through it all.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

     The ability to read minds, of course. It frustrates me when people don't speak their mind, and act like I can't tell when something is wrong. And I'm real sick and tired of having to drag it out of people. If I could read people's minds, there would be a better chance of me being able to help them.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

     I would want to know what my purpose is in life and what I'm supposed to be doing, so I can be one step closer to being able to fulfill that purpose.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

     I've dreamt of getting a career in some kind of arts. I don't want to go back to school or to art school. I want to be able to teach paint nights or something.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

     Honestly I would have to say graduating high school, because I haven't had many big accomplishments.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

     Honesty, and being completely comfortable in the friendship to be able to be yourself without feeling judged. And just the ability to have fun together no matter what you're doing.
    
17. What is your most treasured memory?
 
     It's not just one memory, but all the memories from family vacations to Cutler, and just being all together with my family and having fun and seeing everything there is to see.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

     The day I had to put down my dog of 16 years, my best friend.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

     I would grow a pair and finally do all the things I've been saying I was going to do, and go out and grab the nads of the world. Just kidding, but I would definitely try to take in as much as possible and not hold anything back anymore. Probably try to make amends with people that I've wronged, that kind of thing.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

     I honestly think friendship is the most important thing in the world. Without friendship, everything is just lonely. I think friendship is extremely important in relationships as well. I know without my friends I wouldn't be who I am today.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

     Everyone needs love and affection. If I couldn't hug anyone or be loved by anyone I would be such a sad panda. Hugs make the world go round.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

     Well, since Chris isn't doing this with me right now, I'll just share what I think his positive characteristics are. I'd say his warm heart, his ability to cheer me up, his sense of humor, the way he goes out of his way to compliment me, and his dedication to making me feel loved.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

     I'd say my family is pretty close. We communicate regularly, make a point to get all together at least a few times a month, and we celebrate birthdays and holidays together always. My childhood was very happy. We were always doing fun things, taking trips, and doing lots of stuff together. And my brothers didn't beat me up THAT much. Just enough to make me pretty tough.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

     I think I have a great relationship with my mom. I don't really hide things from her, I tell her the gist of what's going on with my life, and she doesn't annoy me really. I like spending time with her and talking to her. She supports me with things I'm going through and doesn't judge me, and doesn't try to force me to do anything.
    
25. What would you do with your life if you were suddenly rewarded a billion dollars?

     First of all, I would pay off my car, and then buy everyone in my family new houses and buy all my friends new houses, and donate some to charity, and probably buy everyone a new car as well. Then I'd open some kind of business and put a lot of money into it, maybe invest in some things. Who knows? I have a lot of ideas. Ha.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

     My tacos.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

     I already am a close friend with my partner, and I think he knows all that he should know about me.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

     I like his ability to call me out on my bullshit, especially when I'm wrong and I know I'm wrong but I'm too stubborn to admit it. I like how he's able to calm me down just by making me say what's on my mind, and then sharing his opinion with me. I also like how he listens to everything I say, takes it to heart and doesn't interrupt me when I'm putting my thoughts out there. He also praises my accomplishments, reads my writing all the way through and gives me feedback, which makes me extremely happy.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

     Probably the time I fell off a curb drunk and skinned my knees in front of Jared and Rita and I'll never be able to live it down...

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

     Probably both when I was watching a TV show or movie. I cry a lot during TV shows, especially the Chicago shows.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

     His smile, his face, his mind, his laugh, his voice. Pretty much everything.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

     Death, rape, suicide.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

     Someone I forgave but doesn't know I forgave them and probably still thinks I hate them. Not saying who.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

     Honestly probably my laptop, because it has all my pictures and journal entries stored in it.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

     I don't think I'd be able to choose. Probably my mom, to be honest. She's one of my favorite people in the entire world, and I don't know what I'd do without her.

36. What is one thing that you would consider unforgiveable?

     I think cheating and then lying about it would push me over the edge. I think all trust would be broken at that point, the relationship not mendable.