Chapter Seven: Dreams


     Every once in a while, I like to sit down and imagine what my future will look like. Will I have a house, husband, kids, dogs? What will I be doing? Will I be successful? It's just a fun little thing I do when I'm having a bad day or feeling particularly sad about something. I imagine all the little details. A brighter future.

     This time last year, I had a whole different idea of what the future would look like. That was before the breakup with Number Two. I thought he and I would be together. That I would be someone I clearly was not meant to be. It's amazing how much has changed since then. I realize now that I truly wasn't happy, that maybe he was doing me a favor by dumping me. I was just kind of going through the motions; going out and doing nothing together, and the relationship truthfully got kind of boring. In the beginning, that was enough. But it seemed like it was going nowhere. So when it ended, sure, I was devastated, but mostly because I had just spent the last 3 years of my life in a dead-end relationship. The words are harsh, but once I realized them, I knew them to be true. We were better off as friends. We butted heads constantly, fought a lot and neither of us were getting what we wanted. At first it felt like my future as I knew it had just crumbled down around me. But when I finally healed from it and learned to love myself again, I figured out that my future had only just begun.

     When I met Chris, I wasn't expecting anything. I just thought I was making a new friend. But the more we talked, and talked, and talked, I realized how much we really had in common. We laughed together constantly, and talked from sun-up to sundown. After a while, we even started finishing each other's thoughts and saying the same thing at the same time so much that it started to get scary. It's so crazy to me, how I found this man who is so far away but yet when we talk, it feels like he's sitting right next to me, smiling at me. He's someone who I feel like I've known forever, and like I could spend all day every single day with him and never get tired of him. So when I sit here and imagine my future today, I see Chris in it. I see us laughing, joking around, busting each other's balls, but also building a relationship that's very strong and unbreakable.

     Call me lame or corny, and maybe I am, but a girl can dream, right? Not everyone can say that they met someone they love on a stupid video game. Not everyone can say they fell in love with someone without being able to hold them in their arms. I used to say that I would never be able to do something like this. That it was impossible to imagine a future with someone who's 2,000 miles away. But with each passing day, it's getting easier and easier to picture. I can see a house, with a big yard, dogs and kids running around, sitting on the porch next to him watching it all. That's what every girl dreams of, right? Well, most of us. It might sound crazy to whoever is reading this, maybe like I don't know what I'm getting myself into, maybe we're just a couple of dumb kids. But I know what my heart is saying, and it's telling me this is right. Finally, this is something right. And something that makes me happy. So honestly, I could care less about what anyone else has to say about it. Thanks for reading today, I hope you enjoyed it.


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