Chapter Eight: Pet Peeves


     It's been one week today since I first started this blog. So, I figured for the end of my first week, I would post about something fun and less serious. Tonight, I'm going to talk about pet peeves. You know, the things that make you cringe, the things that bother you the most about other people. They aren't going to be in any particular order, but just know: they are all things that seriously bother me. So PLEASE don't take my sharing with you as an invitation to mess with me. I also think I'm doing this because I really need to rant and blow off some steam, so bare with me.

    Alright, let's begin with the universal one: CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN. It bothers me to no end. I understand if you're alone, or you can't breathe through your nose or something, but it's just gross! Picture this. You're sitting in a restaurant, just enjoying your delicious meal, and the person across from you is mowing face and chewing like a cow and you can see all in their mouth and the chewed up food is just moving around and OH MY GOSH I can't even talk about it anymore. It's just nasty. Moving on.

    Another pet peeve of mine is when someone doesn't use their blinker. Not only is it dangerous, but it's stupid! I'll admit I have a pretty bad case of road rage. But I think it's allowed when someone slams on their brakes in front of you to turn without using their blinker and you almost smash into them. It's the easiest thing to do. ALL you have to do is a simple flick of your finger, is it really so hard?!

    I feel like I could do just a whole separate list of pet peeves when you're driving. Because another one of mine is when people pull out of somewhere and cut you off. Also very dangerous, and very stupid. Does the place you're going really need you that bad that you need to risk my life and yours to get there? Unless you or your girlfriend, wife or mother is in labor or you're bleeding out and need to get to the hospital, no life is worth you getting to your destination two minutes faster than you would have if you just waited.

     Here's one that I experienced just this afternoon in the mall: When someone is walking in front of you super slow, and all you want to do is pass them, but they keep walking sideways so you can't pass them, or they just stop short right in front of you. Honestly, I think that's one of my biggest ones. I'm one to usually speed walk everywhere when I'm shopping; I don't like to dilly dally. So when someone just walks like the slothiest sloth I've ever slothed I mean seen, I get super agitated and kind of want to hit them. I used to get so mad in high school when people walked like that in the hallways, especially with how congested the hallways were between classes. Just getting anywhere was a whole separate struggle. People walk like this in the city, too, they're just all over the place and you can't get around them. So many frustrations. I feel like that's enough for that one.

     Do you have any words that literally just make you cringe and want to gag whenever you hear them? I have a few. And when people find them out, they like to say them around me as like a joke, but what they don't realize is that it's really not funny. There are only three words that really do that to me. I don't even want to share them, because I know people will read this and then do the exact thing I said that bothers me next time they see me, because humans never change.

     Something that I really hate, that happens all the time, is when I'm having a conversation with someone and I say something that's meant to be a joke, but then when I say I'm kidding they insist that it's how I really feel. If you knew me even a sliver, you'd know that 98% of the time I'm just being a sarcastic asshole and messing with you. I know that it's really hard to read context in a text message or on Facebook, but please know that my way of displaying my affection for you is making fun of you, teasing you, and trying to get you to laugh. Laughter is how I communicate that I like you, you're a cool kid, you're not a lame-o, etc. When I'm being serious, you'll know it. Trust me.

    Ahh, and the beloved cell phone. When you call someone, and they don't answer the phone, but they immediately text you, "What's up?" Dude if I called you, it must be because I'm trying to get a quick answer without texting back and forth trying to get something out of you for five hours. Ain't nobody got time for that. Or if someone texts you first, and you answer, but then they don't answer for like two days. Why even own a cell phone at that point? I don't know, man.

I have many more of these little things that irk me, but honestly I've done my ranting for the day. I feel much better. Goodnight everyone.


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